Down Syndrome Friday – Protecting vs Inhibiting

I’m torn.

With Cody going into Kindergarten next year, I have been having a battle within myself trying to figure out what the best course of action is for him. Do I continue with him in Special Education where I know he will be well watched after and his specific needs will be met? Do I fully mainstream him into a “typical developing” class?

My gut tells me to try to do full inclusion because I think he will be fine. At the same time, my heart tells me that a typical kindergarten classroom is 1 teacher to 30 students and Cody will get lost somewhere in the shuffle or have a hard time adjusting to such a large class full of children still learning to adapt to curriculum, expectations and possibly for some, dealing with the anxiety of being in an educational environment for the first time.

I am probably over thinking this, right?

Recently, HBO premiered a documentary titled Monica and David, in which they follow the couple on their first year of marriage. Though I have not watched it yet, I have been reading and hearing about it from friends.

Monica and David happen to both share the same designer gene Cody sports.

One of the most powerful statements that I read was one from Monica’s mother:

“as parents, we want people to look upon our children with special needs like anyone else…And yet because we want to protect them so much, we are typically the first ones who treat them poorly by subconsciously denying them their rights to have a normal life.”

Honestly, when I read that, I cried. <okay, so I cry quite a bit, but this was for good reason. :)  > It made me look at myself and wonder if I do things because it is in Cody’s best interest or because I am trying to protect him. How do I figure out when my decisions are based on which reasoning? How do I turn off the protective mother instinct that wants to make sure that Cody is not hurt, offended, discouraged, challenged beyond his capabilities or worse, not accepted. I know I can’t fight every battle for him, but  how do I convince myself of that?

When I read the quote from Monica’s mom, it brought me back to my mental battle over selecting which educational road would be in Cody’s best interest.

When I voiced my concern to someone recently, she told me something that made me feel slightly better. She said that Kindergarten is a stepping stone into his education. Whether or not he is in a special education class or a typical developing class for Kindergarten will not affect his success in education. Migrating him to become fully included in a typical developing class can be a goal instead of a requirement. 

She made me feel better and not so pressured (though the pressure was coming from myself) to rush him into full inclusion.

When DJ was in Kinder 2 years ago, the class sizes were 20 students to 1 teacher. If that were still the case, I would be more inclined to lean towards full inclusion. But to tell the truth, I would be scared to put my “typical developing” child into a class of 30 kindergartners.   It just seems like a sink or swim situation.

I would love to hear what other parents have done to lay the groundwork for fully mainstreaming their children. I know we have many IEPs ahead of us and I would love any advice on how to make the most out of the IEPs and most especially, to know what I should be fighting or not fighting for when it comes to Cody’s education.

Highlights from the 2010 Step Up For Down Syndrome Walk

First and foremost, a HUGE THANK YOU to those that donated to Cody’s Gabba Gabba Gang team! We appreciate your support and are touched by the donations from strangers. From the bottom of our hearts, THANK YOU!

A SPECIAL THANK YOU to those that walked with us! It is heart-warming to have your support. It is further proof of just how much you all love Cody! :)

Our Team Captain was nothing but smiles that day. He must have known that we were there to show our love for him!

I’m not saying this just because I’m his mom (okay maybe), but doesn’t he have the most addictive smile??? I know you are smiling right now as you look at his picture. :)

The Co-Captain was ready to go, too! We had to explain to him that Co-Captain was not an abbreviation for “Cody’s Captain”. ;)

This was our first time joining the walk and we were very excited about it. Even DJ was (though he will tell you otherwise!).

 

Papa and Mama came out, too!

My brother, Mike, and his girlfriend Teri joined in the fun.

One of Cody’s favorite playmates was there – my younger brother, Mitch. (By playmate I mean that Cody likes to try his new wrestling or UFC moves on his Uncle.)

And we were excited to have my cousins, Kenneth and Liezl, join us as well! THANK YOU for coming out early on a Saturday morning to walk with us! Next time, I will remember to bring donuts. ;)

If there is music, Cody will find it. And when he finds it he will DANCE his little tushy off!  

This is the look you get when the music stops.

 

And he was off!!!! Look at the joy on his face. He walked about half way then lost interest in the walk. :) 

 

Again, THANK YOU to all those that showed their support through joining our team, sending donations and messaging us with well wishes for the walk!

Dandelion Magazine – Bay Area

If you live in the San Francisco Bay Area, you may have heard of Dandelion Magazine. It is a magazine dedicated to parents of special needs children. It is  a great resource full of information for therapies, activities, events, doctors and so much more.

I was honored, beyond flattered (and in tears from excitement) when I received an email from them a couple of months ago asking if they could run my post about Cody’s First ER Visit in the upcoming edition of the magazine.

Though my first instinct was to say yes, I second guessed myself because this was going to be a fairly widely spread magazine in the Bay Area and my personal experience with my full heart on my sleeve was going to be exposed.

Then I remembered why I posted it on the blog in the first place – to let other parents know that others have gone through their situation and that feeling vulnerable and hopeless during the situation is normal. Even though you feel alone in that moment and that no one could ever understand what you were feeling, there is someone that does understand and can relate.

That alone was more than enough reason for me to say “yes” to sharing my story.

The digital copy of the magazine was made available this week and I was excited to see my handsome baby not only in the article, but on the “What’s Inside” page!

The digital copy of the magazine can be found at: http://www.bluetoad.com/publication/?m=11210&l=1 

It was a pleasant surprise to also see Baby Sofia and her touching adoption story in the magazine as well!!! (Cody has a soft spot for Sofia and calls her his “baby”. He loves to carry her and cradle her even though she is more than half his size!)

The article features a picture of Cody with is “James Dean” stare. ;)

My boys…..

It still makes me choke up when I see this picture of my boys. It reminds me of how blind and unconditional love can be. We worried that DJ, 3 years old at the time, would be scared of all the wires and tubes coming out of his brother, but he walked into the ICU room, walked straight to his brother’s bedside and grabbed Cody’s hand and just held on to it. He didn’t ask about the ventilator;  he didn’t ask about the tubes or wires. He just stood there holding his brother’s hand.